Weird Wrap: Topless burlesque dancing now a-go go in Alberta

Burlesque dancers claimed the rule went against their human rights, and fought the commission for six years.
Burlesque dancers claimed the rule went against their human rights, and fought the commission for six years. Stock photo from iStock/Getty Images.

Shake what your mama gave you!

All over Alberta, burlesque dancers are celebrating a ruling by the Alberta Liquor and Gaming Commission.

The Commission decided, only this week, to remove bare breasts from their definition of nudity, thus freeing up Alberta’s burlesque dancers to remove their tops and show their breasts during their performances.

The rule before the commission’s latest decision, was that burlesque dancers were not allowed to show their naked chests in bars, only strip clubs – and even then only men were allowed to bare their chests, not women.

Burlesque dancers claimed this rule went against their human rights, and fought the commission for six long years until victory was theirs.

Penis complaint against Nova Scotia police officer dismissed

Halifax’s Serious Incidence Response Team says a claim by a man who alleged an officer grabbed his penis during an arrest is unfounded.

The gentleman from Yarmouth, N.S., who made the complaint against the officer, was allegedly driving the wrong way on a one-way street in Annapolis Royal on July 9 of this year. A concerned citizen called the police and two officers were dispatched to deal with this issue.

When police approached the man to try to arrest him, he wasn’t having any of it. He started fighting with police and claims that during the incident his pants were ripped and his genitals were uncovered.

He also claimed that once his genitals were out for the world to see, one officer got a little touchy-feely and grabbed his penis.

SIRT investigated the incident and has concluded, as of a SIRT report dated November 18, that there was no penis grabbing on purpose. SIRT did say it’s possible that the man’s genitals could have been briefly touched, but would have happened as part of a lawful search.

The report also mentioned that some witnesses thought that the man could have been suffering from mental illness at the time of his arrest.

Donkey Kong record holder lawsuit tossed in New Jersey

Billy Mitchell, a man famous for holding the world record in Donkey Kong has finally lost. No, not a game of Donkey Kong that is, but a legal challenge he brought against The Cartoon Network.

Last week New Jersey Federal District Judge Anne Thomson dismissed Mitchell’s lawsuit.

Mitchell had claimed that a cartoon character was modeled after his likeness. He also claimed that his traits were characterized to make the character look “cartoonishly evil.”

One has trouble seeing too much of a likeness given the character actually explodes. In fact, Thomson didn’t see much of a likeness to Mitchell, either:

“The television character does not match the plaintiff in appearance: GBF appears as a non-human creature, a giant floating head with no body from outer space, while Plaintiff is a human being…And when GBF loses his title, the character literally explodes, unlike Plaintiff."

Game over.

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