Weird wrap: a modified minivan, foolish Flames fans, and a library sex crackdown

A windowless minivan. - Niagara Regional Police

There’s some strange, stupid and (sort-of) sexual headlines in this week’s recap of weird crime.

Windowless minivan catches cops’ eyes

Sometimes an offender is doing everything so wrong, you’d think they’re trying to get arrested.

That seems to be the case for an Ontario man charged this week after police pulled over his window-less, licence plate-less minivan.

Niagara Regional Police conducting a distracted driving blitz spied a slow-moving van stuffed to the gills with furniture and other miscellaneous junk, but lacking its rear windows, sliding door and licence plates.

Caught, the driver also admitted having a suspended licence and no insurance.

Remarkably, police also stopped him two weeks ago, driving the same vehicle. Apparently it’s not unsafe enough to impound.

He now faces seven charges, including operating an unsafe vehicle.

Calgary hockey fan aims for flames

Sometimes you’re caught up in an awkward social situation and you’re not quite sure how to act. Calgary police have a couple of handy tips.

“People need to wear pants and not set off fireworks near the gas station,” says the bluntly quotable Calgary Police Staff Sgt. Steve Ellefson.

He’s talking specifically about a small group of revellers celebrating a weekend NHL playoff win over the Vancouver Canucks.

Police estimate between 10,000 and 12,000 fans showed up on the ‘Red Mile,’ and were mostly peaceful. However, police still made six arrests, including one fan parading about nude below the waist and another genius blasting fireworks near a Shell gas station. Fortunately, no larger Calgary ‘flames’ resulted.

Some Flames fans were also chastised by the team last week for their crude behaviour toward women that included sexual harassment.

"It's not negative behaviour, it's stupid," head coach Bob Hartley told the CBC. "I'm sorry for my language but there's a few jerks there that are tarnishing the reputation of our organization and city."

Libraries clamp down on future sex shows

An Ontario library board is making rule changes to prevent future crimes that you probably wouldn’t have expected in a library in the first place.

They’re implementing tougher online filters and eliminating private nooks and crannies to prevent repeat performances by people like “lilsecrett,” a.k.a. Alexandria Morra, the woman charged with streaming live sex shows from several local branches.

She turned herself in to police after police asked for the public’s help in identifying a rogue masturbator plaguing libraries and some Tim Hortons’ locations. She’s now charged with committing an indecent act.

The libraries are working to improve sightlines and reduce privacy, as well as enacting stricter web filters to tone down the raging sexuality boiling under the surface at local branches. 

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